Evidently, the key to a happy marriage is to be a bit selfish.  So says a recent article in the New York Times entitled “The Happy Marriage is the ‘Me’ Marriage.”  According to the author, couples in lasting marriages are effective at communicating what they want to their spouse and by doing so are able to derive personal satisfaction from the marriage.

Here are some some questions (taken from the Sustainable Marriage Quiz) to ask to determine whether you are in a “happy” marriage:

  • How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things?
  • How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?
  • How much does your partner increase your ability to do new things?
  • When you are with your partner, do you feel a greater awareness of things because of him or her?

Here is what I take away from all of this – does your spouse make you a better person because you are married to him or her?  If the answer to that question is yes, then you are probably in a pretty happy marriage.  However, if you feel constrained, unappreciated, and depressed in your marriage, then you may be considering other options.