I often write about things that people should do when they are getting divorced – such as keep lines of communication open when children are involved, get your financial affairs in order (know where the money is coming from and going), develop a budget, etc. I don’t often write about the things not to do in a divorce situation. I recently came across an article by Stacy D. Phillips, that talks about 10 things you should NOT do when you are getting divorced. Some of her tips are humorous, but for the most part, she is dead on. I’ve included the list below, with my commentary in italics.
10. Never refer to your holdings as your hidden assets. – You would not believe how often I get asked about this.
9. Never show up late (or early) for a court appearance with a hangover. – Funny, but it does happen.
8. Never telephone your ex’s attorney and tell him/her off. – A sure fire way to drive up your legal bill.
7. Never bribe the kids into testifying against your ex. – I shouldn’t be surprised that this has to be mentioned as a tip.
6. Never throw a fit in court. – Again, seems to be common sense, but emotions can get the best of people.
5. Never act in a threatening or inappropriate manner in front of your ex’s attorney. – See No. 8.
4. Never toss out a pickup line to the Judge. – Let’s take this a step further, don’t talk to the Judge unless you are asked a question.
3. Never have a wild party on your custodial weekends. – Your spouse wouldn’t even need a Private Investigator to prove this!
2. Never lose or destroy your important paperwork. – I keep a copy of everything on the computer with online and offsite backups – if you do lose something that you have given me, I can get it back to you. But try not to lost documents anyway. Us lawyers love paperwork and tangible evidence.
1. Never say, “I’ll never get through this.” – You will get through this, sooner (hopefully) or later.