This morning I found a list of 12 signs on MSN that indicate you might be headed for divorce…

  1. One spouse has acknowledged the problems in the marriage, and the other isn’t doing anything to help fix those problems;
  2. You aren’t spending any time with your spouse, and are actually happier when you are not with them;
  3. One spouse brings up an issue, says that it needs to be resolved or the marriage is in jeopardy, and the spouse does nothing about it;
  4. A year has gone by without either you or your spouse doing anything to try and fix the problems in the marriage;
  5. There is no mutual respect in the marriage, and you are unable to communicate civilly with your spouse – one spouse is always attacking or defending;
  6. You are no longer working together as a team – both you and your spouse are making decisions about your life, career, etc. without discussing them with each other;
  7. There has been an affair, and the guilty spouse, although they have ended the affair, remains friendly with their ex-lover;
  8. Neither you or your spouse are willing to compromise anymore;
  9. One spouse is a “serial cheater” – does this really need more commentary?
  10. The cheating spouse blames the innocent spouse for the adultery;
  11. You want kids and your spouse doesn’t – or vice-versa;
  12. Lack of intimate communication other than things like – nice day today, isn’t it?

I think this list is a good starting point to determine whether you are happy in your marriage or not.  Some of the items, such as number 9 – are pretty much deal-breakers in my book.  But a lot of the other signs deal with lack of communication, respect, and intimacy.  One sign that was not listed is sex – how long has it been since you have been intimate with your spouse?  If it has been a long time, or if you are no longer physically attracted to your spouse, that is another indication of potential problems.