Can I get a QDRO to divide up my husband’s pension (NY state and army) without getting a divorce? I do not want to lose my medical plan.

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Choosing whether or not to finalize your divorce can be an emotional and difficult decision. In North Carolina, you must be separated for at least a year before you can get divorced. Many people will resolve all of the other issues in their case during that one year separation period - which can include dividing up the pension via a QDRO. However, once you have been separated for at least a year, there is nothing to keep your husband from seeking a divorce, should he desire to do so.