Collaborative Divorce

Should you go to court? How do you decide?

Should you go to court? How do you decide?

Getting a family law or divorce case to settlement is a long, windy road, with lots of points along the way for you to turn off and settle your case. But how do you make that decision?  Should you go to court?  How do you know when it is time to settle your case? The answer to those questions is difficult and one that you will need to talk to your lawyer about, but here are some things you need to think about on your own as well. Recognize that you have choices in your divorce Just because you have […]

NC Divorce Papers – Who should file first?

The question of who should “file” NC divorce papers first depends in large part on your unique personal situation and what is meant by “filing” legal paperwork. In North Carolina, when we refer to “filing for divorce”, you could be referring to filing for the absolute divorce, or filing for any of the other legal remedies you may be seeking (i.e. post-separation support, alimony, equitable distribution, attorneys fees, custody, child support, etc.). If we are discussing the sole act of filing NC Divorce papers for absolute divorce after all of the other issues have been resolved, then it really doesn’t […]

Be careful when and how you tell your spouse that you are leaving them

Be careful when and how you tell your spouse that you are leaving them

For some people, one of the hardest parts of divorce is telling your spouse that the marriage is over. I get people asking me about this all the time – how should they do it, when should they do it, is there a better and worse way to do this… Unfortunately, this is just one of the questions that I am unable to answer. I wish that there was a simple answer, and for some people, the decision is a mutual one. For me, those are the best cases because they typically lead to collaborative matters, which I really enjoy […]

Mom with Breast Cancer loses Custody of kids

A Mom in Durham, NC recently lost custody of her children because she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  In an extremely sad case, and yet another shining example of why collaborative law is such a promising tool for resolving family law conflicts, Alaina Giordano has lost custody of her two children because of a terminal breast cancer diagnosis. Judge Nancy Gordon gave custody of the children to Ms. Giordano’s abusive husband who now resides in Chicago in part because “the course of [Ms. Giordano’s] disease is unknown, and “children who have a parent with cancer need more contact with the […]

Tips to make your divorce easier

Last week the Raleigh News and Observer ran a story entitled “4 tips to make your divorce easier for your divorce attorney and yourself.”  Those tips included telling your lawyer the truth, get help from a therapist if you need it, listen to your attorney’s advice, and organize your documents before you give them to the attorney so that they don’t have to spend lots of time trying to figure out what you gave them. While I think this is a great starting point, and strongly believe that you should follow much of this advice, there is one little tip […]

Bankruptcy and Divorce – Thoughts to Consider

It’s no secret that one of the biggest things that couples fight about is money.  And in these tough economic times, it doesn’t take a whole lot to push a couple over the edge… from a financial standpoint.  In certain situations, bankruptcy may be a viable option for you.  If you are considering filing for bankruptcy, whether you do it before or after you separate from your spouse can have a major impact on your legal options. Filing before you separate can have some benefits.  First, if you decide to pursue a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy, the process takes about 100 […]

Collaborative Divorce is catching on…

For those of you who are still all “doom and gloom” on collaborative divorce, here is yet another article talking about the benefits of the process.  If you are thinking about a divorce or separation, you should start considering a collaborative divorce, especially if you have children…

Divorce and kids around the holidays… Ugh…

The Holidays are hard enough for those of us that aren’t divorced.  Figuring out which relatives you are going to see when, packing the car, getting the dogs to the kennel, coordinating the cat sitter, driving across the country to visit family…. and the list goes on and on.  And I’m not divorced.  It’s enough to give you a headache. I can only imagine the stress and frustration that must befall one of my clients that has to do all this, and then execute an agreed-upon visitation schedule so that they can see their children in addition.  What if the […]

Spouse left with the kids and the money – what can I do?

This is an all-to-common question, and although I have answered it several times in my “Ask a Lawyer” section, I thought I would answer it again here. The answer to this question depends, unfortunately, on the financial circumstances of the person asking it.  If you have a good job, the money issue may not be such a big deal.  However, if you are not working and you don’t have any relatives or friends that can help you out, then you are going to have a tougher time. The first thing you should do is stop, breath, and take stock of […]

5 Raleigh Divorce Lawyers join Separating Together

I guess these things aren’t quite official until there is a press release about it.  Just announced – myself and four other Raleigh Divorce Lawyers have joined Separating Together, a Collaborative Family Law Practice Group in Raleigh, North Carolina. All of us have pledged to restrict our law practices to resolving family law matters without involving the courts.  According to the press release, “The attorneys guide both high and low conflict clients towards mutually beneficial agreements through the practice of non-adversarial, transformative conflict resolution and settlement negotiation, including collaborative divorce and mediation; thus, separation and divorce agreements are achieved with […]